In an instant

In an instant....lives are changed forever.

In an instant...a decision can not be undone.

In an instant....the pain is so great, that it perpetuates more waves of pain.

Another decision, made in an instant, but not with the same result.....it wasn't too late.

I walked into the curtain covered area, and see this beautiful young girl, tubes, monitors, liquids, sounds, smells....all too familiar.

In an instant...the emotions that I felt a little over two years ago crash over me in a wave that rose up out of nowhere. For just a minute, I swept under with fear and doubt and anger and sadness.

It's not about me....and just as quickly I look over at a broken-hearted Mom. I recognize the "trying to show I'm OK on the outside, but inside I'm all torn up" mask she's got on.

I know...in an instant...exactly why I'm here, in this room, with this young girl and her Mom.

Hope and clarity flash like a light. It's all going to be OK...I don't know how, but I know it will. I can feel God in that moment.

There's something so deeply spiritual when the gut wrenching pain of an experience you didn't think you could make it through suddenly is an experience from which you can draw strenght from. It's the raw truth of saying, "I understand exactly how you feel" and the power of sharing that with another.

I still don't know where my own daughter is on her journey....but I know where Erin is today...which gives me hope for Nicole.

For Tisha and her family, it's too late. Tucker's choice can not be undone. A hole in the hearts of so many, especially his Mom.

I pray that their pain, no longer perpetuates the pain. Please God, let Tucker's memory instill a willingness to honor life...not death. Help them see that this disease does not need to take another child away from their mother, father , sister or brother.

My first blog

So - I have no idea what I'm doing, but I have been wanting to start blogging for quite some time now. Now, I have some time...so.....here I blog!

Today - I really am happy with the life that I have today. I'm blessed with a family full of dysfunctionally, functional (is this really a phrase??) loving, crazy, off the wall, I hate you - I love you, gotta love em, get me outta here, make me laught till I hurt, and make me cry till there are no more tears.............you get the picture.

I have a group of friends that totally get me - even when I don't get me. Thank God!!!!

I'm really looking forard to sharing the good - bad - and everything in between here. I guess for now - it'll have to be the "Someday, I'm gonna write a book" part of my days.